Here’s an actual auction on eBay. The seller is asking for $100,000, but shipping is free…
So America… just how much is an education worth? Let’s find out. Up for sale is my law degree. Yes, you read correctly. Three years and $100,000 plus of debt for your pleasure. Please note that I am in no way claiming that by purchasing this degree you will be given credit for having attended an accredited law school and completing its course of study nor will it give you the necessary credentials to take the bar exam. You will not be able to become a lawyer by purchasing this degree. However this would make a great collectible if your name happens to be David Wold. Why am I selling this great item? Because it has been nothing but a curse and aggrevation in my life. Going to school for this degree has been a joke, and has only brought me stress and misery. This degree has been a great invitation to work at least 60 hours a week at a place where I don’t want to be for people that I don’t care about. It has helped me develop great relationships with bill collectors as I can’t afford the cost this great privilege has afforded me. It has limited my abiltity to pursue other work options as people just can’t understand why someone with a law degree wouldn’t want to be a lawyer. Believe it or not, the extensive job dissatisfaction amongst lawyers, high suicide rates, and failed personal relationships that lawyers have isn’t enough to convince others that it’s not a healthy, worthy pursuit. And of course even if I would be happier as a bartender, I couldn’t afford to pay back the loans needed to earn this degree. Though that’s true of many that I graduated with. Individuals that wanted to practice law for the benefit of the poor or impoverished or those who can’t afford legal counsel are having a hard time too because they aren’t paid enough. But that’s justice. The only thing this law degree has been worth to me has been to reinforce my belief that America’s higher educational system is another vehicle for driving the economy. Honestly… if education were a priority in this country, wouldn’t we make it affordable? No… because if you create an expensive educational system, you endorse the instutionalism of professions which may have no reflection of your actual skill or abilty, and you coerce people to get higher paying jobs needed to pay the high cost of education which further pumps dollars into the economy and creates a higher tax base. But David… what about the great education and experience you earned with this degree? Surely this is something you respect and a buyer can’t get with the purchase of this degree. Oh but wait… If you purchase this item, I will also throw in all the law books I have from this program. Sure you don’t get the instruction from the professors, but anyone can tell you which pages to read each day and ask you randomly a few questions about what you read and call that instruction. So you’re not missing much. But what can I possibly do with this degree? Well, the same thing I do with it. Let is sit in your closet as a constant reminder of three years lost in your life or how you could have used that money for educational loans to start your own business or buy a home. Perhaps I have used it quite well. Since I got a degree in screwing people for money, I thought I’d use it for such. My girlfriend have started our own adult site www.(deleted).com. Perhaps this degree will equally inspire you! So come on America… what is an education worth? Is a law degree really worth $100,000? I know many of you will say that an education is priceless. For argument’s sake, let’s say priceless equals $1,000,000. As an incentive for interested buyers that really think an education is worth something, I will make a promise to create a $100,000 scholarship with each $100,000 increment that I profit from (less fees and taxes) with the sale of this degree over $500,000. But isn’t that greedy on your part, David? The educational costs weren’t that much. True… but the misery I’ve been honored to experience and the opportunities lost do equal about that amount. And it is my degree, so there. David… I believe in your argument and cause and wish I could offer an extensive amount, but can’t. No problem. Help me out by going to our website and buy some of our dirty videos, or just sit back and visit this auction regularly to laugh at just how much a law degree is worth. Feel free to contact me with any questions, and happy new year.
It’s long been clear that attorneys should not be let near anyone getting a divorce.